Rachel Sailer

Hi, I’m Rachel, but you can call me Ray! I am primarily a relationship therapist who works with college students, graduate students, and young adults in their 20s and 30s who are navigating relationships, anxiety, OCD, friendships, and all of the uncertainty that can come with figuring out adulthood.

Maybe you’re doing well on paper, but internally you’re overthinking everything. You might replay conversations, reread texts, worry that someone is upset with you, need reassurance that your relationship is okay, or wonder if you’re “too much.” Or maybe you’re on the other side. You care deeply about people but pull away when relationships get too close, shut down during conflict, struggle to ask for help, or worry that being in a relationship means losing your independence. These are some of the relationship and attachment patterns I specialize in helping young adults understand.

I also work with OCD and relationship OCD (ROCD), including the endless “what if?” questions that can make it difficult to trust yourself. You might find yourself analyzing whether you chose the right relationship, checking how you feel, looking for certainty, comparing, researching, replaying situations, or repeatedly asking other people what they think.

And relationships aren’t just romantic. Friendships can be some of the most important and sometimes most painful relationships during college and young adulthood. Therapy can be a place to talk about friendship breakups, feeling left out, outgrowing friendships, struggling to find your people, people-pleasing, boundaries, loneliness, or wondering where you stand with someone.

College and young adulthood can also bring questions about identity, career, family relationships, moving away from home, dating, breakups, changing friendships, perfectionism, and what you actually want your life to look like. You don’t need to have everything figured out before coming to therapy. Figuring some of it out can be part of the work.

My approach is relational, attachment-based, trauma-informed, and collaborative. I integrate attachment theory, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic approaches, neuroscience, and ERP-informed work for OCD. Rather than only focusing on symptoms, I want to help you understand where your patterns came from, what they may be trying to protect you from, and whether they are still working for you today.

My goal is to help you build relationships where you can care deeply about other people without losing yourself, tolerate uncertainty without needing to solve everything immediately, communicate what you need, set boundaries, and feel more secure in who you are.

In addition to individual therapy, I work with dating and committed couples, particularly couples navigating attachment patterns and the pursuer-withdrawer cycle. I also offer non-religious premarital therapy for couples who want to intentionally prepare for marriage and have conversations about communication, family, finances, intimacy, values, and their future together.

I offer in-person therapy in the Denver and Lakewood area and virtual therapy throughout Colorado.